Monday, July 16, 2018

Friend

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

Steve was one of the more interesting characters I had the opportunity to meet through my travels in life. The year was 1975 or so when he meandered into the massive studios of KSAK (90.1 – Walnut, California), where I, along with a handful of other misfits, were in the process of creating bonds that were to last a lifetime. And also learning a bit about the radio business in that overgrown closet we called a radio station.

Steve was this odd mix of kindness, naivety, and intellect. And, partially because he chose to imbibe in things that I was afraid to touch, we were never that close back in those lost days…and then he became a bit of a distant, but not bad, memory as life marched on….

Until…

Facebook.

I received a friend request from him some eight years ago. Steve, like me, was no longer in Southern California. He was managing some properties that his parents owned in Florida. This, after him kicking around in the music business in and around L.A for too many years. An immediate connection ensued; he sent me a copy of his CD of original music he had recorded a few years earlier (he played a great 12 string). In return, we started engaging in long Facebook message conversations about spiritual things. Honestly, he knew more Bible than I, and was quick to issue and respond to challenges about it. He didn’t mind receiving standard answers, but always wanted to know how the standard answers came about. He wanted to comprehend the reasoning behind those solutions to the challenges. If, for instance, “Jesus laid down His life for the sheep" (John 10:11), he wanted to know why Jesus would do that and why would he call us sheep?

Facebook conversations turned into phone conversations. By 2015, those conversations (by call or text) became almost a weekly event. Long conversations when his beloved mother died a couple of years ago were difficult; his heart was aching. Steve never married, and was living alone. I almost went down to Florida to do the service for her, but logistics were difficult at the time. I suggested finding to a Navy chaplain and who did the service for her; he was so happy about that.

When Susie and I journeyed down to Florida 18 months ago, one of the stops I insisted on was meeting up with Steve for lunch near his home. And the growing friendship was cemented. As we left the restaurant, Steve and I agreed to not let 40 years pass before we met up again.

Sigh….

Friday evening Steve texted me that he was terribly sick and that he needed prayer. A few more texts went back and forth; I was rather amazed that he hadn’t been admitted into a hospital. I promised to pray for him, and certainly I did.

Sunday morning, before the worship service at the church I pastor, I texted him to see how he was doing. After an afternoon service I lead at an assisted living center, I gave him a call. Like the earlier text, there was no response.

A quizzical post on Facebook by a relative of his, and then a phone call from Florida. A friend of Steve’s calling to let me know that Steve had died earlier in the day.

I was crushed. Susie and I shared a few hugs and tears. I’m not sure why, but this has hit harder than I would have imagined. There was such a deepness to his naivety and intellect, and sincerity in his caring and searching. And he had become a cherished friend.

In a phone call two months ago, Steve shared that he had finally found a church (an independent congregation) that spoke to his inquisitiveness without insulting his intelligence. He found a home.

Stephen, Jesus laid down his life for sheep like you and I because of His love; and he calls you this because a sheep always knows the shepherd’s voice (John 10:27). You knew His voice, of this I’m certain. And you are now experiencing this truth first hand. For that, I am grateful.

Friends, this morning my heart is aching. This hurts.

But I do not hurt without hope. Thank you, Stephen Barker, for the friendship.

Until we meet again.....


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